Starlight
by Priss-2040
Summary: Sequel to Moonlight: Rose wants to take his and Dee's relationship to the next step, but will Dee be able to? Can Bikky and Dee mend their realtionship? DeexRose, BikkyxCarol
1. chapter 1

AN- Here we have my sequel to Moonlight. This one picks up at the one-year anniversary of Ryo's suicide. I think that's enough time to pick up. I don't know. Whatever. Anyway, Enjoy!

Title: Starlight

Chapter 1

Berkeley pushed the glasses up his nose. He was sitting in bed reading the paper. Dee was in the shower. Berkeley never understood Dee's habits of showering. He always took one before bed, and when he got up in the morning. He shook his head, and got up to get a glass of water. It was almost midnight, and Dee had tomorrow off. Berkeley knew why.

_'Tomorrow he'll probably go to the cemetery. I wonder if he'll need me to come with him?'_

Berkeley heard Dee shut the shower off. He sighed as he put the empty glass in the sink, and walked back to the room.

"Hey. Where'd ya go? I was wondering if you went out like that or not."

Dee smiled at Berkeley as he pointed to his black boxer-briefs.

"You're such a goofball sometimes. And don't just stand there in a towel. You'll get the floor all wet."

Dee just went back into the bathroom and shut the door. Berkeley took his glasses off, and set them on the table. Turning the light out, he crawled into bed, and was half asleep when Dee crawled in.

"Berkeley?"

"Hm?"

"Can you maybe stay with me tomorrow? Since it is the first anniversary I just don't know if I am ready to deal with it by myself yet or not. I understand if you really need to be in at work, so it's cool if you say no."

Berkeley turned his head toward Dee's.

"Yes. I will stay with you tomorrow Dee."

"Thank you."

Berkeley turned his head back. He felt Dee kiss his cheek, before whispering,

"Goodnight Baby."

Dee woke up before Berkeley. He needed to pee badly, and he wanted to start his shower. He walked into the bathroom, and began to pee. Once done, he started the shower, and sighed as the hot water hit his body. It felt good. Dee thought about the past year, and everything that had happened to him and Berkeley.

_'God. I was so weak then. I cried like a baby through everything. How could I even call myself a man after all of that?'_

Dee secretly hated himself for being so weak. He hated the fact that he had to depend on people for comfort.

_'At least he stuck by me. I know I didn't want to stick by myself after that. I'm just glad someone was there to help me.'_

Dee closed his eyes, and laid his head on the wall of the shower. He jumped when he felt arms encircled his waist.

"Morning Dee."

Dee sighed as the hands of his partner began moving up and down his body.

"Morning baby. You nearly scared me to death. Warn a man before you jump him in the shower."

Dee felt Berkeley begin to kiss his neck.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought it would be nice to clean you up."

Dee moaned softly as Berkeley's hands began to trek lower down his abdomen.

"Wait...No...stop."

Berkeley stopped.

"What's the matter Dee?"

Dee sighed.

"Not today Berkeley. I just don't think I can be intimate that way today. I'm sorry."

Berkeley turned Dee around to meet his eyes. His heart broke.

"Oh baby, it's ok. We don't have to do anything today that you don't want to do. I understand that this is still hard for you, and I can wait."

Dee nodded his head as he felt Berkeley release him. The two of them washed their hair, and soon they were both getting dressed.

"So...have you called into work yet?"

Dee asked Berkeley while pulling on a pair of jeans.

"Not yet, but I will. I'll go call, and then we can get something to eat?"

Dee nodded his head as he grabbed a random shirt out of the closet.

_'Ryo loved this one. He said it made my skin tone look nice.'_

Dee smiled at the memory, and put the shirt on. He walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Berkeley was on the phone, and had a cup of coffee in his hand.

"I would like the day off today."

There was a pause.

"I am sick."

Berkeley made coughing sounds into the phone. If Dee hadn't been standing there, he would have thought they were real.

"Yes sir...I will sir...bye sir."

Berkeley hung up the phone and turned to see Dee.

"What? He wasn't buying it until I coughed. I had to practically beg the man to let me have today off."

Dee laughed as he wrapped his arms around Berkeley.

"Thank you Berk. I know that you probably would much rather spend a day off doing something better, but this means a lot to me."

Berkley returned the hug.

"Anything for you baby. And nothing is better then spending the day with you."

The two of them held each other for a little while longer, until the sound of someone at the door caused them to part.

"Are you expecting anyone?"

Berkeley asked Dee.

"No, are you?"

Berkeley shook his head.

"I'll go answer it Dee. Will you pour me another cup of coffee?"

Dee nodded as Berkeley went to answer the door. He looked through the peep-hole and gasped when he saw who was standing there. He immediately opened the door to let the man in.

"Hello Berkeley. Dee here?"

Bikky asked. His eyes red and puffy.

AN- Hahah! Cliff hanger. Well...I'm glad I got the first chapter to this done, but with school being in, I don't know when I'll have a chance to update. I will try to work on it through the week, but with homework I may not get to work on it much. Also, for those of you who are just reading this story, you need to go back and read MOONLIGHT first.


	2. chapter 2

AN: Hello! Welcome! Sorry for such a long wait. I really didn't mean to keep things left for so long at a cliff-hanger. I also am splitting this chapter up into two parts. I felt that I should have ended this chapter where I did, so chapter 3: part 2 will be out shortly. Anyway....Enjoy!

Chapter 2- part one

Berkeley looked oddly at Bikky for a few seconds before nodding his head.

"Yeah...hang on...."

Dee, not really noticing who was at the door, was still drinking his cup of coffee. He looked up when Berkeley walked into the kitchen. He had a look of surprise on his face.

"What's the matter baby? Who was at the door?"

Berkeley just met Dee's eyes and pointed towards the door. Dee looked suspiciously at Berkeley, and walked out into the hall. His eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.

"Bikky! What are you doing here?"

Dee couldn't make his legs move. He stood stunned as he waited for a reply from the boy.

"Dee...I just...I just didn't know where else to go. I..."

Tears began falling down his face.

"It all happened so fast...so very fast."

He gasped out in between sobs. Dee snapped back to reality and helped Bikky to the couch. The boy's sobs calmed down a little, which made speech better.

"Cal and I had an argument this morning...and...and she walked out. On today of all days.... she decided to walk out on me Dee!"

Dee nodded his head.

"What were you two arguing about?"

Dee noticed Bikky's expression go from sadness to anger.

"You. We were arguing about you! She told me I need to include you in my life, and I told her that I didn't want the man who killed what little hope I had of having a family, in my life! That's when she called me a heartless bastard and left me! Once again it's all your fault that someone important to me has left!"

Dee was prepared for the fist that came hurdling towards his head.

"Hang on Bikky! Bikky stop!"

Berkeley came into the room at that point and held Bikky back as Dee moved out of the way. Bikky began to cry again.

"Dee....Why did Ryo do it? Why did you ever have to come into his life? Why did you have to love him?"

Bikky curled himself into the couch and cried while Dee took in the things Bikky had said to him.

"You want to know why Bikky?"

Dee replied. Anger was apparent in his voice.

"Dee...Don't."

Berkeley tried to stop Dee from progressing, but once Dee's anger is ignited, it's hard to get him to cool down.

"I didn't ask Ryo to do it. Ryo couldn't take the fact that HE had told ME to get out of his life. He was expecting ME to go running to him and beg him to take me back. But you know what Bikky? I was so sick of his shit. I gave him everything...and HE was the one who couldn't accept himself. I couldn't chase after someone any more who wouldn't return the feelings after TWO FUCKING YEARS!"

Dee tried to keep his anger in check but the more he talked, the more his anger grew until finally...

"Maybe he wouldn't have asked me to leave him if YOU hadn't have always chimed in with 'Oh being gay is wrong' and 'Ryo what do you see in him'! You know what Bikky? YOU are to blame for Ryo not wanting to accept the possibilities of being gay! You were always telling Ryo to find someone else!"

"Dee! That'll be enough!"

Berkeley finally came in. He had had quite enough of this.

"You can't put any of this on Bikky Dee! None of it is his fault!"

Dee turned his anger to his lover.

"You want to take his side in this? You don't know shit about the things that little brat said to Ryo!"

"Dee! You're not listening to me at all! Bikky, or you for that matter, are not responsible for Ryo's suicide. Now you can either calm down and listen to what I have to say, or you can leave."

Dee stared at Berkeley for a moment, then pushed past him and grabbed his coat. Berkeley realized what he had just said, but it was too late.

"Fine! I will leave!"

"Wait Dee!"

But Berkeley was greeted with a slammed door.


	3. Chapter 3

An: Here's chapter 3 part 2...Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Part 2

Dee sighed as he thought about this morning's event.

_'I really shouldn't have yelled at either of them.'_

Dee walked down the familiar stone pathway that would lead him to Ryo. He reached the grave and sat down on the cold ground.

"Hey Ryo. How have you been?"

Dee put the sunflowers down that he had bought. Ryo always did love sunflowers. And for some odd reason, that Dee couldn't quite explain, sunflowers seemed to be Ryo. Every time Dee thought of sunflowers, thoughts of Ryo would always come to mind. Even before Dee learned that those were Ryo's favorite flower.

"I know. Things are looking pretty grim. If you saw the exchange I had with Bikky and Berkeley this morning, then you know why I'm so upset. It's just..."

Dee sighed as he lit up a cigarette. A nasty habit that both Ryo and Berkeley had tried to get him to stop.

"Bikky still blames me for everything. He even blamed me for his and Cal's fight. I'm beginning to wonder if he blames me for his living on the streets for most of his life as well."

Dee flicked the ash off his cigarette.

"And now Berkeley. I yelled at him this morning. I shouldn't have done it either. I didn't mean to snap so angrily at him, but it's just...When he told me I could either listen to him or leave now, it just sounded like he would kick me out. Like he would leave me for yelling at Bikky. And I guess it just reminded me of the last time with you, when you told me to leave your life. I just thought it better to leave then to hear what he had to say,"

At this point Dee began to feel the tears run down his face.

"I know all that sounds stupid and confusing, but still...it hurt me so much to have Bikky blaming things on me, and then to hear Berkeley tell me to either listen or get out...I guess I acted on anger and left. And now I don't even know if...if Berkeley still loves me."

Dee dropped his cigarette to the ground and put his face in his hands as he began to cry harder.

"Ryo...I know I have...I have asked you before, but...Can you forgive me, for everything?"

OOOOOoooooOOOOO

Berkeley had calmed Bikky down enough to speak with the boy. Bikky had told him that he had been meaning to come and see Dee today, but after his fight with Carol this morning, it turned sour. Berkeley had told Bikky that he could stay at the apartment for as long as he needed while he went to find Dee. He figured Dee would go see Ryo, and that's where he found Dee sitting on the ground with his face in his hands sobbing. He heard half of what he had said to Ryo, and now he stood stunned.

_'Oh my God. What have I done to him? How completely insensitive of me.'_

Berkeley walked quietly over to Dee, and wrapped his arms around his shaking frame. Dee jumped just slightly at the unexpected contact, but relaxed when Berkeley's familiar smell flooded his senses.

"Dee...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to sound like I was kicking you out this morning. I just wanted you to hear me out on a few things. I hadn't realized that I had said the part about you just leaving until it was too late. I spoke without thinking."

Berkeley felt his own tears rolling down his face. Seeing Dee hunched over himself and crying was almost too much to bare. Then hearing him doubt that Berkeley still held feelings for him, it was almost too much for him to handle.

"Don't ever doubt my feelings for you ever again. I promise you Dee...I would never leave you for something so small and stupid like this morning. Please trust me."

The two of them held each other for what seemed like hours, until Dee spoke.

"Oh baby...I'm so sorry for this morning. I didn't mean to get so angry, and direct my anger towards you. That wasn't my intention at all. I just thought that...that maybe since I had lost my temper you...you would want me to leave. And I just wouldn't be able to..."

Berkeley shushed him like a child before he could go any further.

"Baby, that's all in the past now. I know you didn't mean to act so angry."

The two stayed in each other's arms for a while. They sat thinking about every thing that's happened to them over the course of a year. And what they had to deal with today.

"You know, Bikky's still at our apartment. You really need to talk with him for yourself. I spoke with him this morning, and it sounds like he really needs you right now."

Dee nodded his head, and got up. Berkeley did the same.

"See ya Ryo. I'll come back soon. Love you."

Berkeley was a bit taken a back by Dee saying I love you to Ryo, but he knew that it was just a habit that was hard for Dee to break, so he didn't think anything of it.

Dee turned to Berkeley.

"You know...We have to tell Bikky about us. He doesn't know."

Berkeley caught the grim look in Dee's eyes.

"I know. And it won't be easy for either of us."


	4. chapter 4

AN: Things are flowing quite nicely I do have to say. After this chapter things will hopefully pick up. After all...there are still many twists to this story...and a special surprise I have been planning for quite some time. And this chapter is kind of very depressing. Like most of this story is.

Chapter 4

Dee sighed as he waited for the comment from Bikky. None of this had been easy. Ever since they came home this morning and found Bikky on the floor with a picture of Ryo, Dee had been dreading the conversation he had to have with Bikky.

"So you're saying that you and that Berkeley guy are more then just 'Friends'?"

Bikky was still taking things in.

"Yes. We have been together for almost a year now."

Dee replied as calmly as he could. This was hard. He never thought that he would have to do this, but with the recent events...he just had to.

"But...You bastard! How could you just go finding someone new right after Ryo died? Are you that heartless?"

Bikky had the tears brimming in his eyes. He couldn't believe Dee. How could he do such a thing to Ryo?

"Bikky before you start anything, remember that I can't just keep living in the past. I would have killed myself right along with Ryo if Berkeley hadn't have been there for me. You obviously weren't so someone had to."

"Dee! You two are supposed to be talking out your differences. Not bringing each other down."

Berkeley piped in. He had sat down with the both of them when they had come to a decision to "talk" about their problems.

"Sorry."

Dee said as he lit his eighth cigarette since this whole conversation started about an hour ago. Bikky sat with his head down. He wasn't sure what to say. Was it really true? Would Dee really have followed Ryo to the grave?

"Dee? Would you have really killed yourself?"

Dee nodded.

"Face the truth kid. Ryo kicked me out of his life. I loved him so much, that when I found him, it took all my will power not to shoot myself as well."

Bikky looked up.

"What stopped you?"

A single question that Dee asked himself everyday. Why didn't he? Was there some force that didn't want him gone just yet? His thoughts stopped on one answer.

"Ryo wouldn't have wanted it. He would have wanted me to stay strong, and not take some coward's way out of life. He wouldn't have wanted me to follow his example and shoot myself too. He would have wanted me to live for Penguin, and you."

Bikky looked surprised by this answer.

"But Ryo...he left me to myself. He killed himself and left me and Cal and you. How can you say that he would have wanted you, and orphan with no family to live, and himself to die."

Dee wasn't expecting that one either. That comment hit home pretty hard. Berkeley saw Dee's expression change, and he reached for his arm. He gave it a gentle squeeze to encourage Dee to keep his spirit up.

"Because Bikky..."

Dee swallowed hard. He hated to admit this part, but after all this time he always just drew this conclusion.

"Ryo only cared about himself. He didn't want to face life with the guilt of the decision he had made about me leaving him. He was only thinking about ending his own pain, and not about the pain he would cause other's around him."

Dee felt the tears fall down his face. He always hated that realization.

"Dee...I don't know what I can say. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything Bikky. I understand."

Bikky sat quietly for a while. He listened to Berkeley whispering calming things into Dee's ear, while Dee had tears streaming down his face. Finally Bikky spoke again.

"Dee? Do you hate me? After everything I said to you. After all the extra pain I put you through. Do you hate me?"

Dee met Bikky's blue eyes. It was like he was looking into the eyes of a small child. He felt the dam break inside of him and he sobbed out his answer.

"No Bikky...Oh God no."

Dee got up and hugged Bikky. The two of them cried together. All the pent up sadness between them melted as they cried. They finally calmed down enough to speak again.

"Don't you think for one second that I hated you Bikky. I knew you were going through the same thing as I was. I didn't hate you or blame you for anything at all."

"I'm so sorry Dee. I didn't have anywhere for the anger to go. I directed it towards you because I had always thought that...that..."

Tears began rolling down his face again.

"No no. I forgive you Bikky. I forgave you a long time ago. I was once in your shoes Bikky. I lost someone very important to me too when I was about your age. Maybe a little younger, and I learned from then on, to forgive people who have wronged you."

Bikky's dried all his tears and smiled.

"Thank you Dee."

Dee smiled back.

"You're welcome Bikky. If you ever need anything, you know where to come."

Bikky looked down.

"Dee? Can I ask you something?"

"Yes. What is it?"

"You see I kind of need a place to stay for a while. I came back form college, and I was staying with Cal, but since we had our fight, I'm going to assume she doesn't want me around right now. Could I maybe just stay with you for a bit? Until I settle things with Carol?"

Dee looked at Berkeley, who was dabbing at his eyes.

"Yes Dee. He can stay. It's ok with me."

Bikky hugged Berkeley.

"Thank you."

AN: Wow. Sorry for the LATE update. I had a bit of trouble with this chapter. I don't like it. Maybe I'll go back and fix it. There's lots of male hugging. LoL! Anyway...This story will get better trust me. Now Bikky has to get back with Carol, and Berkeley wants Dee and him to be more 'intimate' but Dee's not sure if he's ready. Plus there's a new case! Yay! I'm not gonna spoil the case for you guys though. You'll just have to read to find out. I'll give ya a clue...The victims are all linked to people who work at the 27th. Hahah! Ponder over that one!


	5. chapter 5

Berkeley sat in his office. This had been one strange week with Bikky being there. He was getting used to having the teen in the house. Bikky was 19, but it still felt weird having another person around.

"Hey Berk."

Berkeley looked up when Dee walked in.

"Hey. What's up?"

Dee plopped down on the sofa in the room.

"I was wondering if you'd like to grab some lunch with me."

Berkeley smiled.

"I would love to get some lunch with you. Just let me finish up these reports first, then I'll be ready."

"Ok. I'll wait out here then."

Dee was about to walk out but then he noticed Berkeley's expression.

"What's wrong baby?"

Berkeley looked up.

"I keep getting these bad headaches. This is the second time this week."

Dee was concerned.

"Maybe you should see the doctor about it."

"No. I'll be fine."

Dee nodded his head.

"If you say so. I'll be waiting for you then."

De walked out. He wasn't sure, but he could feel that something was wrong with his lover.

OOOooooOOOO

"SO I was thinking…."

Dee said around a mouthful of food.

"Maybe next week we could help Bikky find a job. I know he'll need one for the upcoming school year. We also need to enroll him into a local college."

"We should ask him first if he wants to go this year. Maybe he wants to take a break and just live out the rest of his teen years as a free man."

Dee nodded.

"Fine."

Dee finished eating his food when he noticed that Berkeley hadn't even touched his."

"What's wrong? You didn't even touch your food."

Berkeley just looked up at his partner and smiled.

"I'm not hungry. I've felt kind of sick all day. It's probably just a cold or something. I'll be fine…really Dee."

Dee looked Berkeley in the eyes. He could see something in them, but he just didn't know what.

"Ok. I'll take your word for it."

Dee smiled back.

OOOOOoooooOOOO

"Damn."

Dee sighed as he set he case files down.

"Another missing kid. That makes what? Four in the past week?"

Ted nodded his head.

"Afraid so Dee. You know this is all adding up to some big huge case, right?"

Another exasperated sigh escaped Dee's lips.

"I know. And it'll be one of the worst cases too. Looks like we should start re-interviewing parents and start looking for clues."

Ted nodded and got up. Really this was his case. Dee was only helping him until his old partner came back from maternity leave.

"I'll put the word out for this kid then. Maybe we can get something by tonight."

Ted noticed Dee looked a little stressed.

"You ok there Dee? You're not looking so good."

Dee just shook his head.

"I'm fine. It's Berk I'm worried about. He's been acting really strange. He hardly ate his lunch today, he's felt sick all week, and he's been getting these headaches that feel like someone was pounding a nail into his skull. I'm really starting to worry about him, Ted."

Ted nodded. He knew what those symptoms sounded like, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions just yet.

"Why don't you just call it a night then Dee. I'm fairly certain I don't need you anymore today. If I get word on the kid, I'll let you know."

"Thanks Ted. Maybe I can convince Berkeley to see a doctor."

Dee gathered his things and left. He seriously hoped he could get him to see a doctor.

OooOOOoooOOOoooOOOO

"Berkeley?"

Dee called. He didn't receive a reply.

"Berkie?"

That was when he noticed the bathroom light on. He ventured down the hall, and found Berkeley on the floor with his head over the toilet.

"Are you ok baby?"

Dee knelt down and gently touched Berkeley's shoulder. Berkeley turned his head to face Dee. Dee noticed the tears in his eyes.

"It…It hurts so bad Dee."

"What does?"

"My stomach. It's been hur…hurting since I got home."

He started sobbing again as another pain hit his stomach.

"Berkeley, we need to go and see a doctor. This isn't normal for you and you know it. All the headaches, not eating, and then this."

Berkeley shook his head.

"Dee…this doesn't mean anything. I…I must have ate some bad meat or something."

Dee looked at his love. He knew there had to be a better explanation for this, but right now he would take Berkeley's excuse.

"Ok. I guess…I'll believe you. But if this goes on, promise me you'll see a doctor."

"Promise."

Dee nodded and got up.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to go and see what I can get you for your stomach."

Berkeley nodded as he watched Dee leave. He knew it wasn't true. He knew that this was due to something else. Something that scared him more then anything.


End file.
